Defining Story

Speaking Tip: The Power of Clarity

Have you ever heard a speech and walked out thinking, “That’s so simple. Why didn’t I think of it?” Then you go back to your office and make a small change resulting in a major improvement.

That’s the power of clarity. It’s the great idea with no extraneous details.

How well defined are your ideas? Can you explain your concept in one sentence? Would you like to be able to? Call me. 703.262.0361

Speaking Tip: Junk the Jargon

How many times have you listened to a speaker who used specialized, industry specific words or pesky little acronyms that everyone else understood? Did you feel ignorant because you didn’t understand? You aren’t alone. Others in the audience were left in the dark with you.

One assumption it’s OK to make is that not everyone in your audience knows your industry’s special jargon. Use words everyone understands. Every time you catch yourself spewing alphabet soup, take the time to use the words the letters stand for. Use the words at least once, then you can use the acronym. Well… use the words at least a couple of times.

This is true in writing as well. Just today, I received an email newsletter that was filled with acronyms I didn’t understand. I stopped reading. Don’t assume everyone understands your jargon or your acronyms.

Speak to be understood.

How to achieve presentation success

Speaking Tip: Beware of audience remorse

Several years ago I heard a speaker at a conference. He was dynamic. He told heart-wrenching stories. He took us on an exciting ride that had us laughing, crying and clapping. We gave him a standing ovation. I don’t know about the others, but I gave him highest marks on the evaluation and wrote that they should have him back the next year.

The next day, I reflected on his presentation and realized that he had skillfully manipulated our emotions. A speaker can do that. But he had not given us anything except an experience. We heard his story. We felt outraged for him as a child. We rejoiced for him as he made his way in the world. Although he told a riveting story, there was no learning in his stories for us. As I thought about it, I wanted to take my evaluation back and burn it. He didn’t care about me. He didn’t help me learn from his life. He just wanted to brag about his accomplishments.

As a speaker, your job is to give your audience a message that will help them change their minds or their behavior. Unless you are the after dinner entertainment, you had better deliver a well crafted message. Audience remorse can come back to haunt you. Make sure your audience hears something from you that they will still value long after your presentation ends.

Speaking Tip: 3 points and a poem

I was uncomfortable when newer speakers made fun of old time speakers and their “3 points and a poem.” That old advice seemed dated, and yet it made sense to me. A common mistake new speakers make is to try to pack everything they know into one presentation. How much information you include depends on the event. If you are the luncheon speaker and no one is taking notes, brain science explains that working memory can only handle 3-5 chunks at a time. So if you want your audience to remember what you said, limit yourself to 3 well-supported points.

If you are presenting an informational presentation where your audience is taking notes, you can make more points. Even so, attendees may not review their notes later, so you will make a bigger impact on them when you make fewer actionable points.

It’s better to have your message remembered and acted upon than it is to show off how much you know.

Successful people learn to speak

People who excel at public speaking have a better chance of being noticed.  They are more likely to  get promoted, make more sales, get their ideas implemented, and make more money.

Why is public speaking so easy for some and so difficult for others? Some people were born with a naturally charismatic personality. Other people, like me, have to work at it. I was told, from a very early age, that I needed to act like naturally charismatic people. I needed to give myself a personality transplant. No matter how hard I tried, it didn’t work. I’m not an extrovert. Crowds overwhelm me and I need to limit how many events I attend or I go mad. I prefer a one-on-one conversation to a group gathering.

I discovered that speaking can be easy, even for an introvert like me. The secret is conversational speaking. Talk to one person at a time, just like you would in a private conversation, only the rest of the audience is there as well. Focusing on only one face at time takes away the angst.

The only way to get comfortable speaking is to speak. When you want to become a better speaker, speak as often as you can. Practice in a setting where it doesn’t matter. Don’t go out in front of a group as the featured speaker without first trying your presentation in a safe setting. You can join a Toastmasters group or even ask some friends to let you practice on them. The other option is to take a class and/or get coaching from a professional.

Remember, if you want to reach your career potential, you need to become a good speaker.

The word that doesn’t work – “Not”

I just succumbed to that little word, “not.” I thought I was asked to take a specific action, so I did. Later, I discovered the request included the word, “not.” I did the exact opposite of what I was requested to do. I am mortified.

My lesson:

1. Read requests *very* carefully
2. Don’t assume I already know what people want
3. Be on the alert for the word, “not”

My advice to others: Reword any sentence that includes the word “not.” This is a huge piece of what Ray and I teach in our Strategic Bragging workshops. People just don’t hear or read the word, “not.” Read my story about “not.”

Instead of saying, “I do not want vinaigrette dressing,” say, “I want honey mustard dressing.” Instead of saying, “Do not buy me jewelery,” say, “I would love to have flowers.”

Instead of saying, “Do not forget your raincoat,” say, “Remember your raincoat.”

Nearly all negative requests can be reworded to positive ones. You are more likely to get what you want if you ask for a positive.

Speaking Tip: Overcome fear of speaking

Fear of Speaking can hold you back in business. The ability to speak confidently is an essential business skill. Business people at all levels need to speak at internal meetings as well as presenting externally. In business, we speak to coworkers, customers, vendors at conferences and other events. Being reluctant to make presentations can delay upward mobility and promotions. Read more

Storytelling Tip: How to find your stories

“I don’t have any good stories,” is a common reply I hear when I tell people I’m in the story business. I’ve never met a person who didn’t have a good story others could benefit from hearing. Your life is a series of stories. Every incident you are part of or you witness can be a story. The key is to choose ones that are interesting.

Start paying attention to small incidents happening around you every day. Did you see someone do a kind action for a coworker or a stranger? Did you embarrass yourself in public? Did something scary happen? Did you get an “aha” flash of insight about your life? Any time you stop and take notice of what’s happening – that’s an indicator you are in the midst of a good story. Use a little jotter notebook or your smart phone to remind yourself. Jot a few sentences down to remind yourself so you can go back later and craft your story.

Collect your stories first, then find the meaning in them. Over the years, working with my clients, I’ve found it’s much more difficult to find a story to make a specific point than it is to find stories first. Your best stories will help inform you of the points you need to make in your presentations. Over and over, I’ve found that personal and business stories help clarify my clients’ messages.

Here is something that happened to me not too long ago:

I was driving home from visiting my mother late Sunday afternoon. I was traveling south on Route 95 toward Washington, DC. The speed limit is 65 miles per hour and this day, everyone was driving fast at 70-75. As I entered the ramp onto the outer loop of the Capital Beltway, the traffic came to a dead stop. I slammed on my brakes and shuddered with relief that I didn’t hit the car ahead of me. Then I glanced in my rear view mirror and knew instantly that I was dead. A car was coming straight at me at full speed. I had no place to go. At the last instant, the driver veered into the next lane and missed me by inches. As she slowed and came up next to me, I could see she was upset. She raised her hands in an apology and mouthed, “I’m sorry.” I grinned back at her and gave her a thumbs-up that all was good.

This story informs me that I’ve made progress in my journey to transform myself into a positive person. In my early life, I would have been angry with the woman for scaring me. Now I am thrilled that I was only scared and not hurt. I could use this story in a presentation to illustrate how to shift from negative to positive thinking.

You don’t need to have a blockbuster story that could be an Oscar winning movie script. A small story about an everyday event that touches a universal chord can make a huge difference in your presentation. It will make your audience sit up, listen and feel connected to you and your message.

Start finding your stories.

Speaking Tip: Know your audience

Who are you speaking to? It’s a simple question, but it amazes me how many speakers don’t pay attention to who is sitting in the chairs in front of them.

Before you accept a speaking invitation, ask who the audience is. Are they sales professionals? Are they retired federal employees? Are they women business owners? Are they vegetarians? Accept only invitations to speak to audiences that will resonate with your message. No matter how good you are, you are not right for every audience.

The more you know about the individuals you will be speaking to, the more you can tweak your presentation to meet their needs. If you are speaking to brick and mortar small business owners, a talk about how to manage and motivate sales associates would be a good topic. Not so much if you are speaking to home-based solopreneurs.

It’s better to say, “I’m not right for your audience,” than to speak to them and bomb. Imagine the impression you will make when you say, “I know a speaker who has a message that is just right for your audience.”

So you decide that this audience is right for you. Even if you think you know this audience well, ask some more questions:

• Who has spoken to your group before… so you don’t deliver the same message as their last speaker
• What would you like them to take away from my presentation… so you know and can meet expectations
• What happens right before I speak… so you know the mood of your audience
• What is the biggest challenge they are facing right now… so you don’t waste their time on issues they don’t care about

The more you know about your audience, the more likely you are to give them a presentation that will make a difference in their lives or their business. That’s what it’s all about – making a difference.