May
08
Speaking and Storytelling Tip: Your story needs a purpose
Have you heard a speaker tell a story and you felt like you were lost in a forest with no path out? The speaker went on and on with no end in sight. Then, just when you were in danger of nodding off, it was over. And the speaker launched into the meat of the presentation. No transition, no reason for the story.
Or perhaps the story was a good one. You were taken on an emotional journey. There was great dialogue. The characters were well developed and there was exciting conflict. Everything was well done and you enjoyed the story. Except… It had nothing to do with the presentation topic.
Someone told these speakers to tell stories, so they did.
Telling a story isn’t enough. If a story has no purpose, it is a distraction. A story needs to be relevant to the presentation topic. For a story to be effective, it needs to teach a lesson. The story should connect with or introduce one of the main points of the presentation. The story’s purpose is to make a key point memorable and persuasive.
Apr
30
Speaking tip: Eye contact
If you want to connect with your audience when you speak, the key is eye contact. It’s a simple concept, but surprisingly difficult for some speakers. Look into the eyes of people you are speaking to. I am blown away at how many times I sit in an audience, and watch the speaker look over the heads of people sitting in front of him/her. People—the audience is made up of people—individual people.
OK. Let’s not talk about people. People. A strange word. “People” is the plural of person. When you speak, speak to one person at a time—just the way you would if you and that person were having a personal conversation. Choose a person with a friendly face. Look at that person’s eyes. Not the bridge of their nose. Not over their head. Their eyes. Look into the person’s eyes when you speak. Stay with that person for at least 5-7 seconds, or more. Then speak to another person. Be sure to include all sections of the room. Have one-on-one conversations with a series of audience members.
Whether you are speaking to a big audience or a small one, eye contact invites your audience to connect with you. When they feel connected with you, your “know, like, trust” score rises.
One caution: know your audience. In some cultures, eye contact may not have the same meaning it has in the U.S.
Apr
25
Speaking Tip: Too polished
Did you ever see a speaker give a presentation that was too polished? You just knew the speaker had given that presentation at least 85 times before. Every word was memorized. Every gesture rehearsed and choreographed. It was perfect. But there was no connection. You felt like you were watching a video. You felt like the speaker was not even aware you were there.
When you connect with your audience as they listen to your presentation, they react to you. When you pay attention to them, you get inspiration from them, and occasionally deviate from your prepared presentation. You may tell a story that came to you in a flash of insight. You may wander down a different path for a short while. You may wonder, “Where did that come from?” The universe gave you a gift. You took your audience where they needed to go. Some subtle signal from them told you they needed something in addition to your prepared remarks.
You gave them exactly what they needed. This does not happen when you are too polished.
Apr
17
Storytelling tip: What makes a story come to life?
As I was making my coffee this morning, I was thinking about the novel I’m reading. I’m reading “It Only Takes a Moment.” It’s a standard mystery about a kidnapping. Child gets snatched. Parent is distraught. FBI comes to the rescue. I questioned my sanity. Why did I want to keep reading this book? I had just stopped reading “The Scarpetta Factor” because I was bored after giving it a 75 page try.
The difference is in the details. “Moment” has lots of emotionally compelling dialog. It has a cute dog. The mother is a TV anchorwoman, so we are immersed in the workings of a TV team. The way friends show up to help is unexpected. “Scarpetta” is a boring narrative with no action, dreary characters, and dialog that simply rehashes what happened in previous books. No current action–at least not to the point I stopped reading.
Details that bring a story to life have sensory components. You see what the characters see. You hear what they hear. You feel what they feel. You taste their dinner. You smell their flowers or the garbage dump. A good storyteller takes you into the story so you experience it. The right details make a good story come to life.
Mar
28
Speaking Tip: Performance or Conversation?
I attended a convention in Washington, DC, a few years ago. The keynote speaker was masterful. He owned the stage. He beautifully reenacted a true story he had experienced. Then he explained the meaning to us. It was a powerful performance. We all walked away motivated to take one simple action to make our lives better. We had witnessed an amazingly motivating performance.
The next day, the luncheon speaker took us on another journey woven with true stories and a wonderful message. This speaker’s style was the exact opposite of the first speaker’s. He stood behind the lectern and glanced at his notes repeatedly. Yet he held us in the palm of his hand with his powerful words and descriptive language. We again walked away motivated to take action and make changes in our lives. We felt like we had been part of a deep conversation.
Which speaker was better? The performance speaker or the conversation speaker? Neither. Both. Performance? Conversation? Which is the better speaking style? The better speaking style is the one that is congruent with your personality. The one that is authentically you.
Mar
26
Storytelling Tip: How to end your story
Have you ever walked out of a movie and wished you hadn’t paid the money? Sometimes the movie is great–until the end. You shake your head and ask, “How could they do that?” It was so good until the end. I don’t know about you, but I get more than enough unhappy endings in the daily news. I don’t want my favorite character killed off for no reason. I love happy endings. There has to be a really really good reason for an unhappy ending.
When I work with clients, I sometimes tell them, “Don’t use that story. The ending is wrong.” Most of the times the ending should be happy. Rarely, the ending should be sad/unhappy. It’s important to end your story on the right note.
Feb
17
Speaking Tip: I don’t care if you say, “um”
I don’t care if you say “um.” Tell a great story and give me information to make my business or life better. Too many would-be speakers focus on the icing and forget the cake. It’s much more important to build the foundation of a well crafted message. Once you have the foundation in place, then you can decorate.
Yes, it’s important to master basic presentation skills if you want to be a speaker. But what are basic presentation skills?
- Be comfortable speaking in front of a group
- Master the art of eye contact
- Learn how to connect with your audience
When you can do these 3 things and you have a well crafted presentation, your audience will love you even if you say “um” and have less than perfect posture.
Jan
31
Speaking Tip: The Power of Clarity
Have you ever heard a speech and walked out thinking, “That’s so simple. Why didn’t I think of it?” Then you go back to your office and make a small change resulting in a major improvement.
That’s the power of clarity. It’s the great idea with no extraneous details.
How well defined are your ideas? Can you explain your concept in one sentence? Would you like to be able to? Call me. 703.262.0361
Jan
18
Speaking Tip: Junk the Jargon
How many times have you listened to a speaker who used specialized, industry specific words or pesky little acronyms that everyone else understood? Did you feel ignorant because you didn’t understand? You aren’t alone. Others in the audience were left in the dark with you.
One assumption it’s OK to make is that not everyone in your audience knows your industry’s special jargon. Use words everyone understands. Every time you catch yourself spewing alphabet soup, take the time to use the words the letters stand for. Use the words at least once, then you can use the acronym. Well… use the words at least a couple of times.
This is true in writing as well. Just today, I received an email newsletter that was filled with acronyms I didn’t understand. I stopped reading. Don’t assume everyone understands your jargon or your acronyms.
Speak to be understood.
